Hoorah for the recession?

Amidst all the doom and gloom regarding the global turmoil following the banking fiasco there is at least one good piece of news, Little Chef are to close 67 of its 161 outlets in this country. Whilst the potential loss of 500 employees is not a statistic that anyone should welcome (the spectre of unemployment is not something I would wish on anyone) the thought of this dinosaur of diners coming face to face with the grim reality of the 21^st century has a certain appeal.

It is a shame that it has taken a financial crisis to bring the company to its senses. The Little Chef has been around since the late 1950s and has been the bane of most seasoned road warriors for the majority of that time. It is not by chance that it earned the moniker 'The Little Thief', with its reputation for poor quality food, slow service and over-pricing. I have never understood just why the amenities at motorway service stations should be so expensive but it seems to be an unwritten rule that if you shop at any of the concessions on any motorway you will undoubtedly be paying through the nose. Little Chef have known this all along and exploited the fact that the public have very little choice in what is available at these outlets.

My experience of their establishments has only confirmed my misgivings about their service. The facilities do not appear to have changed since the companies inception, the staff are slow and surly, the amenities dated, the food portions are small, unattractive, undercooked and the prices exorbitant. Originally modelled on the roadside cafes found in 50s America very little would appear to have changed despite the company undergoing several changes of ownership throughout its history.

Where competitors have moved with the time and taken chances Little Chef has sat back and taken the money. It is some years since I ate in one of their restaurants. I visited one on the M1 with 3 other work colleagues and we each ordered a 3 course meal together with drinks. It was mid-evening and the outlet was not particularly busy. Despite the inevitable mix up with the food orders and our attempts to wait for each other 3 of us had managed to eat our entire meal and finished our second cup of coffee before the 4^th member of our group had even been served with his main course. He was only eating a mixed grill so I can't see why his meal should have taken so much longer to prepare than that of any of the rest of us. We did try to be polite and wait for his dish to arrive but as time ticked by our meals got colder and colder, to the point that we decided that we could wait no longer.

The company may have expanded their services through other ventures to challenge the competition from the fast food chains and other coffee outlets but the premise remains the same, they have yet to come to terms with what 'leaving the customer wanting more' means. Most of their rivals understand that this means providing a service and product that will entice the customer to return. Sadly, they have taken the alternative view as an excuse to short-change their customers which is why they now find themselves in the circumstances they are in.

Before the Little Chef is consigned to the growing list of big brand failures it should be pointed out that the company has had its ups and downs over recent years yet has somehow managed to pull through, so I would not write it off just yet.

There are many other big names who have already fallen victim to the recession, and there are plenty of others who are under sustained pressure from the same people who put them in the situation in the first place (namely the banks). Very few of us have not been affected by the fallout from the banking disaster but if there is any good to come from the difficulties that we are currently experiencing it is the prospect that a great deal of the chaff will fall by the wayside. We are all having to think and work smarter, cut back on some of our excesses and with luck we will emerge from this recession leaner, fitter and in a better position than we were before.

Granny greetings

At last I can announce to the world that I have entered the hallowed domain of 'Grannydom', my daughter, Evangelina, having given birth last week to a healthy baby girl, weighing 7lbs and 4oz. I am not sure which makes me feel older becoming a granny or seeing the baby's weight written in imperial measures. I'm still not sure how her partner managed to drag himself away from his playstation long enough to procreate, but somehow he managed it and for that I suppose I should be grateful. Being 'people of the moment' they have chosen to christen their baby 'Bonjela' on grounds that Evangelina was suffering from a painful gum boil throughout the birth (if that was the only pain she felt during labour then she should consider herself extremely fortunate). It was as well that the baby did not come 2 weeks sooner otherwise my granddaughter could have ended up going through life as 'Boots own label haemorrhoid cream'. Sadly they have elected to give her the father's surname; it would have been nice to see the Weale-Bareaux surname perpetuated but there are a lot worse things than going through life as Bonjela Biskett. My only hope is that her peers are a bit kinder than her father's, since he's still known as 'Doggy' to his friends.

I can't say that I have ever given a great deal of thought to becoming a grandparent. I always supposed it was just one of those things you ticked off the 'to do' list when it came along. I can't see me being one of these doting grannies, we aren't exactly close as a family these days. Today's Evangelina talks a vernacular that may be tribal but is certainly not from any region of this planet that I have encountered. As for Darren, to give the proud Dad his proper title, he simply grunts a selection of tones, which might indicate that he is winning an online battle of Warcraft, he is going to the pub or that he is hungry. I suppose Evangelina could view this minimalist form of communication as good training for the months ahead.

I don't think I was ever truly 'in touch' with my daughter. No sooner had I given birth to her than I started making preparations to ship her off to boarding school, or at least that is how I recollect the first few years of our life together. I don't regret having a child, it was just that I wasn't 'ready' for it, but then if we all put off things until we were 'ready' then nothing would ever get done. She grew up to be a very single minded and head-strong girl which is probably why I find it so difficult to understand what she sees in a gormless twit like Darren.

I'm not sure what help or advice I will be able to offer them, I think each generation has their own way of raising a child so I shall try not to interfere, at least that is my argument, and I am sticking to it. I can't see me spending my days endlessly knitting assorted garments in a vain battle to keep up with the growth of my granddaughter. I think I shall opt for a backseat role, let them bring up their child as they see fit, offer my occasional services as a babysitter, push Bonjela in her pram around the local park, tell her loads of tall stories and wait for the day to come when she may reciprocate the favours.