Not
a crisis of selection for my Halloween costume for tomorrow night but
the choice facing millions of Americans in the presidential elections
in just over a week’s time. In possibly the most unpredictable
election campaign ever staged it would be a brave pundit to call it
either way. Usually in US politics it is the candidate with the
deepest pockets that wins but the combination of history and erratic
behaviour by both candidates means that even at this late stage
anything could happen. Who knows, maybe the FBI will turn up at a
Clinton Rally with a dossier full of dodgy emails or maybe Donald
Trump will drop his pants on stage, it has been such a bizarre
campaign that you wouldn’t rule out either scenario , however
unlikely they may sound.
The
American take on democracy has always struck me as being as
overcomplicated and boring as the Superbowl and as over-hyped as
England’s footballing prowess. Patience is not a virtue generally
associated with the Americans so the reasons why it should take them
over a year to decide on who they want as their Commander-in-Chief is
beyond my comprehension.
To
think that after all that time the choices come down to 2 of the most
divisive characters ever to stand for the highest office is
astounding. If there was an option for neither of the above then
there would be a landslide victory for common sense.
Ordinarily
I would welcome a little political in-correctness but in the case of
Donald Trump his entire campaign seems to have been a test of just
how far can he push the boundaries and still get away with it. No
matter how much mud slinging has been focused on his peccadilloes he
has managed to shrug off the criticism and walk away unscathed.
Sexual indiscretions, unguarded tasteless comments and pointed barbs
at ethnic minorities, in many ways he is the antithesis of how you
would expect a presidential candidate to behave. Not only has he
stated his belief that the election has been rigged but he has
indicated that if he were elected he would instigate an investigation
into Hillary Clinton dealings while she was Secretary of State.
Given
his lack of political experience and unpredictable antics you would
have thought that the Democrats could have fielded a chimpanzee and
still walked into the White House ahead of the Republicans. Not only
is a chimpanzee likely to have better behaviour than Donald Trump
he or she could probably generate a few extra percentage points for
cuteness.
Unfortunately,
his rival democratic candidate, Hillary Clinton, also comes with more
than her own share of unsavoury baggage. Her views, her use of a
private email server whilst she was Secretary of State in the Obama
Administration and questionable health have all cast doubt on her
ability to run the country.
Even
though their views on some of the key political issues affecting the
country, such as immigration, trade, welfare, security and education,
may differ this election has undoubtedly become a battle of
personalities rather than policies.
Were
it not for the fact that come January one of these unpleasant
characters will become arguably the most powerful person on the
planet I would have been quite happy to see them locked is a dark
room together and thrown away the key.
Thankfully,
I managed to sleep through the rallies and the televised debates, one
of the great joys in there being a time differential between the
States and the UK (though I would probably have managed to doze off
even if I had been watching them live).
There
is just something unsavoury about watching a group of adults going
berserk and whooping every time one of the candidates opens their
mouths. I am guessing when you sign up for one of these rallies then
you get your obligatory placard, t-shirt and pom-pom and are only
allowed to enter the auditorium once you have downed 4 litres of
sugar enriched caffeine. It is sometimes hard to say whether more
stage management goes into the candidates or the audiences
performance.
If
it were left to me to stage a rally, a task that I can assure you
will never happen, I think I would go for a mix the evangelical and
the inspirational (A bit like a Monty Python Reunion Concert). Forget
the oratory, this is the age of the sound-bite. I would be tempted to
go for the powerful preaching style of a James Brown or Al Green,
though most politicians aren’t groovers (Obama excepted) most love
the sound of their own voice. I’d keep things simple and draw my
inspiration from respected social observers such as Bob Dylan,
Leonard Cohen, John Lennon and Dolly Parton (as opposed to Abraham
Lincoln or George Washington), using quotes that would be
recognisable to the masses. Profound, simple words that embody a
concept – an ideal that makes you think. ‘The answer my friend is
blowing in the wind’, ‘Life is like a butterfly’ - Most lyrics
ask questions, occasionally they throw up obscure solutions,
precisely the objectives that any politician is looking to achieve.
Whatever the political situation there is unlikely to be an easy,
popular or right answer so why bother to try and create one. Use
broad terms to create broad pictures and never under estimate the
power of the cough.
A
successful rally should contain at least 3 coughs – suitably timed
they can introduce an air of anticipation or excitement that will
generate a talking point for days following the speech. It has to be
a cough, not a sneeze - a sneeze is more difficult to control, timed
wrongly it can come out as a snort or a squeak, but a cough is a
powerful tool, but it should not last too long. In an interview
situation a cough can allow someone else into the conversation –
you want a monologue not a conversation. It can be used as a
punctuation, it can be used to emphasise a specific point, it can be
used to mask an issue or as a diversion, to convey an air of
vulnerability or deep concern.
A
really good cough can convey many different things and much pleasure
and many column inches can be generated while the press debate
whether the candidate was trying to suggest that he had just hinted
at a key policy reform, demonstrated a reluctance to discuss a
particular topic or simply choked on a fish bone.
This
particular race for the White House has been fascinating for all the
wrong reasons. I doubt that even a team of writers from one of the TV
stations would have ever dreamed up the twists and turns over the
course of this campaign.
One
thing we have learned over the course of the campaign is that at no
stage is the mental or physical health of the candidate brought into
question during the nomination process, which is quite worrying when
you consider that in most occupations these days the average worker
is asked to provide evidence of their state of health prior to being
offered employment.
It
has been said before that you get the politicians you deserve, just
look at some of those around you – May, Johnson, Merkel, Hollande,
Berlusconi, Putin, Assad, Kim Jong Un, Xi Jinping - It makes you
wonder just what some people are wishing for.
