The Grecian Effect

It has not escaped my attention that politicians no longer have faces like a bag of spanners and expressions that would suggest they have swallowed a wasp, so politics is now a career choice and not simply a playground for elderly men with a social conscience and inflated sense of self-importance. It is not just that I am getting older, politicians are definitely being elected younger and this is not simply down to regular use of a good moisturiser.

What I have also noticed is the effect that office has on those that do manage to reach the top table. Consider Bill Clinton, George Bush, Barack Obama and even Tony Blair – all came to office as fresh faced leaders with 'good' hair, yet within their term of office they all went remarkably grey. This is not some aging spamhead having a jealousy rant, this is a serious issue.

It concerns me when I look at the likes of David Cameron, George Osborne and Boris Johnson the few hairs that do remain on my head do stand up. Not only is there a noticeable absence of grey hairs but the barnets of 2 of the aforementioned are clearly getting darker and frequent use of TV makeup does nothing to improve one's complexion – my suspicion is that they both glow in the dark.

Given the state that the country is in I would have expected them all to have aged by about 20 years; Obama is clearly greying and he has similar problems to deal with both on the domestic and global front. I can excuse Boris Johnson because he alone knows what goes on inside his head, and I am not convinced anyone else really understands what that is, but Cameron and Osborne have clearly reached for the Grecian 2000 or some alternative brand. It is not quite so noticeable with David Cameron who was fairly dark haired to start with; he has always looked like a wax work to me and doesn't need any more moisturiser, but for George Osborne dyed hair against his pale skin just makes him look even more creepy.

I'm not sure that I want my politicians to look like mannequins, I want to see the responsibilities they have accepted weigh heavily on their conscience, aging goes with the territory.

By word of warning you just have to look at those who have followed a similar path during their time in power, Ronald Reagan and Silvio Berlusconi – hardly great advertisements for the youthful look. Furthermore, it should be remembered that 'Our Tone' eventually turned orange.

Another word of caution – Grecian 2000 contains lead acetate. Not only is it a carcinogenic but the amount found in each bottle is 10 times higher than the amount found in a can of paint. Maybe that would explain some of their stranger decisions. Not sure where I read that fact but now every time I see a politician or celebrity with black hair I immediately think of them having dyed their hair with Dulux emulsion (other brands are available from major outlets, always read the instructions on the tin), which leads me to thinking that any comments they make are equally false.