Having
reached a stage in life where I have had to come to terms with hair
growing in places that have hitherto served no other purpose than
lend a certain symmetry to my face. It would seem that the growth of
hair from ears and nostrils is inversely proportional to the
recession on my scalp. This in itself has come as no great shock
though I am more perplexed by the transformation on my legs. In my
youth I fear I could have been mistaken for a hobbit, such was the
abundance of hair on my feet and shins but just as the years have
crept up on me so has the hair on my lower extremities. I guess it is
one more of life's great imponderables of which there seems to be an
abundance at the moment.
Britain
has announced this week that it is at the forefront of technology in
trialling driverless cars which probably signifies that we will be at
the bottom of the league within 15 years having sold off the rights
to any breakthroughs we may make to foreign competitors. This caught
my eye because I am toying with the idea of replacing my car. It may
be many years away but the thought of being able to drive from London
to Edinburgh and sleep most of the way is quite appealing though I am
not sure that I would be too confident relying on computer technology
alone to control the vehicle. Perhaps it is not such a bad idea given
that 70% of all road accidents are attributed at least partially to
human error. To all intents and purposes there is no real need for a
pilot to fly a plane, then there is not so much traffic in the air
and it will be a brave airline that would wish to be the first to
dispense with their flight crew.
Quite
apart from the technology is the way in which this form of transport
may be used. In this age of litigation the ramifications for the
insurance industry would be huge. Who would be to blame? Who would
you sue? By the time you have finished reading this article I would
imagine that there is some embryonic business ready to target those
who have been injured by these vehicles or mis-sold such insurance.
It would be nice to see this technology used for public transport but
considering that the technology would be designed to avoid
pedestrians how would a vehicle know whether a pedestrian was an
obstacle or waiting for a 'bus'?
Another
story in the public eye that has perplexed me is the trial of
Dominique Strauss-Kahn, former chief of the International Monetary
Fund and one-time potential candidate for the French Presidency who
is on trial in Lille accused of helping to procure sex workers for a
hotel prostitution ring. He told the court 'I am one of the world's
most powerful men. Many people wanted to please me. Women have
offered themselves to me ten times. It is nothing unusual to me'.
What I can't understand is how he can claim that he was unaware that
these girls were being paid to provide services at these parties.
What did he think they were doing, tagging along for the champagne
and Ferrero Rocher? They may have been there to bonk a banker but it
would seem from the trial that the bankers were too busy doing what
they normally do, shaft everyone else.
Someone
else paying the price for abusing their power this week is Heather
Cho, the daughter of Korean Air boss, Cho Yang-ho, who has been
jailed for a year having forced one of the South Korean national
airline jets to return to the gate at New York last December and
offloaded a steward because she was unhappy with the way he served
her nuts in the first class section of the plane.
She
was prosecuted on charges of breaking aviation law, assault and
interfering in an investigation.
There
is a great deal of unease in South Korea about the power wielded by a
number of family-owned and run conglomerates. It may be that the
humiliation is a bigger penalty than the prison sentence.
Sadly
all too often power, money and corruption seem to go hand in hand. No
chance for me then, money and me are no more than passing
acquaintances and even the cat ignores what little authority I claim
to have.
Sorry
to read that the Fire Service are bracing themselves for an epidemic
of 999 calls following the release of the '50 shades of Grey', the
film version of the erotic best seller. Funny that, one minute they
are wanting to strike over changes to their pension package then
suddenly they have no problem filling shifts when it comes to freeing
couples who have had unfortunate accidents with handcuffs or vacuum
cleaners.
2
other wonderful pieces of disjointed government thinking – the
tories want reduce benefit payments to those who claim they are too
overweight or dependent on drink/drugs to leave the house. Trying to
force them into work through poverty isn't going to work, especially
for those who are so overweight that the only way that they can
physically get out of the house is with emergency services
assistance. And in another piece of inspired thinking it has been
suggested that schools should be including 'happiness classes' in
their overstretched curriculum. Maybe if they put more emphasis on
teaching pupils their multiplication tables in year 1 instead of by
year 6 then they wouldn't be so stressed out and in need of
'happiness classes'.
While
I continue to ponder the perplexities and injustices that punctuate
our strange existence it is worth remembering that not every cloud
has a silver lining and there will always be someone worse off than
you – somebody out there is going to have to live with the
knowledge that the first record they ever bought was 'Mr. Blobby'.
Now that was a crime against humanity.
