to boldly go ....

I must admit to feeling a trifle deflated over recent weeks following the news that Sir Ranulph Feinnes has been forced to withdraw from his latest Antarctic expedition due to frostbite. Not that I imagine my mood is any greater than the frustration that the multi-hyphenated-old etonian must feel following his latest mishap.

The man undoubtedly has more guts than sense and is worthy of a place on the endangered species list as a member of a declining breed of great British eccentrics.

To be truthful I had been expostulating on the next big event that David Cameron was going to pull out of the bag to boost the flagging feel-good factor in this country. As a politician he may not be everyone's cup of tea but in terms of PR coups his period of office has been blessed with successes that Alastair Campbell could only have dreamed off. Robbie Williams re-joining Take That, Prince William's wedding, The Queen's Golden Jubilee, The 2012 Olympics, England winning the Ashes in Australia, Andy Murray winning a major title, a British winner of the Tour de France for the first time in 75 years, Europe winning the Ryder Cup in amazing style and a royal baby on the way.

As to possible future crowd pleasers – I have always considered the Queen abdicating to be a non-starter, likewise Philip bungee-jumping, Charles appearing on Strictly Come Dancing, Ed Milliband appearing on the Muppet Show, Enya announcing a world tour or an Abba reunion concert.

Discovering a formula for fat-burning chocolate or a sustainable energy source that would allow the average domestic fuel bill to be reduced by 90% would be welcome, though improbable.

If there was any justice in the world then there would be a website listing the home phone numbers of all the directors of companies offering their services assisting with payment protection  insurance or personal injury claims. I feel sure that I am not alone in wishing to cold call some of them at 3 am just to be able to put the phone down or give them a quick chorus of 'Go compare' or ask if they had limescale problems in the bathroom.  Personally, that would boost my spirits no end. I would even be willing to give up the comfort of my warm duvet for one night just to these leaches like being pestered with unwarranted nuisance calls.

Secretly I had pencilled Sir Ran in for a solo trek across the dark side of the moon but given his advancing years and his recent injuries I fear that is looking as likely as Argentina relinquishing its claim on the Falkland Isles.