Regrettably I have worn a hole in my soap box over recent years and am now having to resort to step ladders in order to get my voice heard. Undoubtedly it is a case that the older I get the more there is that irritates and I am of a disposition of fighting for causes I believe in rather than tamely capitulating and allowing all and sundry to get away with blatant injustice.
I recognise that this is a futile gesture given that the world is in such an appalling state, but I would rather put my two-penny-worth into the pot whilst I still have the energy to put up a fight.
I am still itching for the first silicon-enhanced Barbie doll shop assistant to utter those dreaded words “Ah, bless him” in my direction. Not that I have any propensity for violence but I am curious to know whether botox would improve or lessen the appearance of a black eye.
I have avoided the January Sales, just as I have done for every other month in the calendar, on grounds that it might be tempting fate. This cold snap has enabled me to catch up on some of my studies, watch a few DVDs, see a few friends and play the old Christmas game of spotting the actors in classic films that are still alive. Not that I watch a lot of TV these days. I particularly detest the way that TV presenters address the issue of the day as if the entire population existed in the same rarefied atmosphere that they do. Sadly, we do not all live in penthouse apartments in the city and employ our own nanny and personal fitness trainer. Anyone who can regularly blow 20 quid on a cappuccino and a sarnie is not a fit person to convey news of global atrocities or economic realities to the bewildered masses.
By the BBC reckoning anyone living in a house worth less than £500,000 is living beneath the poverty line. Heaven for betsy! There are even some presenters who don’t earn that amount in annual expenses. Poor things!
It makes me furious listening to these jibbering buffoons and their guests ranting on about how we are coming out of recession. Every day it seems there is yet another major employer going bust or laying off 1000s, can’t these politicians read or are they just so pre-occupied with filling in their expenses claims. ‘Green shoots’ they say; the only green shooting I’m interested in involves a blank wall, a handful of politicians and a loaded ouzi.
I also can’t see that the BBC is doing much to help with educating future generations, though I accept that the role of TV has changed thanks to the influence of computer games and other distractions. ‘Yoof’ TV seems to be an endless procession of bizarre music videos, comic book cartoons and American imports cobbled together by hyperactive continuity presenters who, if they behaved the way they do anywhere else other than in a TV studio, would almost certainly be locked up for their own protection. I assume that these individuals are recruited from drama schools since there seem to be few discernable characteristics that would link them with the kids one encounters daily in the street.
I am fully conversant that anyone between the age of 10 and 25 is physically incapable of communicating in anything other than primeval grunts. I am told that some have become accomplished in the art of texting, which is nice for them, even if they have yet to master the art of spelling and have very little to say to one another. It never ceases to amaze me that these very people, who are seemingly unable to string together a sentence of more than 10 words, can talk for hours given the opportunity to phone someone (often a complete stranger and usually at someone else’s expense). Even allowing for the fact that 30% of all conversation is ‘dead air’, that is still a lot of small talk in anyone’s language.
Still, I would not wish to be a teenager these days, the prospects seem very bleak in terms of employment opportunities and getting onto the housing ladder. I, now in my 50s, am still studying, because my industry has a shortage of qualified people. And where have my qualifications got me? Well, I spent 2 days before Christmas sitting in a client’s office making a note of the number of faulty telephone calls the company receives on a spreadsheet. It is a job that a 16 year old could do yet, the company insisted they need someone with my technical experience to do the work. I was even told that I was not to be pro-active meaning that I had to wait for users to come to me with their problems. I had 2 faults reported in a day and a half, neither of which has anything to do with the telephone system!
1. Can the volume on the headsets be adjusted? – No, because users then turn the sound down in order that the phone can’t be heard ringing. Quite an important factor you would have thought within a call centre.
2. Why does the department lose so many calls when an incoming call moves from a designated extension to a group call? - Simple, when someone is away from their desk it means that the call is diverted and someone else needs to pick the phone up, which no one does.
It is very typical within the IT industry to find people in such a situation as mine, being utilised to do work that has nothing to do with their particular skill set. The number of places I have worked where the software engineer is a web designer by trade, or the network administrator trained as a programmer. It is a total waste of resources, but you take what work you can get these days. You wouldn’t expect to ask Simon Rattle if he could play the spoons because you already had too many conductors with the BBC Symphony Orchestra.
As far as I can see the only growth industry in this country is in training, an industry that is normally the first to be hit during a recession. No matter what your trade there will be a necessary qualification. Usually it is a case that once you have achieved that qualification you will either be informed that the qualification is no longer relevant and you need to take an upgraded version of the exam or, alternatively, you will be advised that the qualification will need to be renewed within 2 years. It is a self-perpetuating cycle that guarantees a regular income to the exam provider and eternal poverty to the unfortunate employee.
I can foresee the day when no one will have a career any more and the entire workforce will be on a continual cycle of retraining for industries that can’t attract anybody to work in it, the chief reason being because everybody is on training courses.
Forget all idea of being able to walk into a £40k+ job on the back of a degree. There are only so many opportunities for media consultants and marketing analysts. The best hope for most is a £14K job in a call centre. Perhaps my niece’s generation had it right all along – most of her peers wanted to become hairdressers, though I guess that most of them will now be single mums, living in social housing with their 4 x 4’s (4 kids by 4 different fathers).
Given that most employers operate a flexi-time policy I can’t see what all the fuss is about yoof having problems getting off their backsides in the morning. Most of the graduates I have had the misfortune to work with have displayed a marked indifference to personal hygiene, poor communication skills and a lack of basic common sense that should place them on the ‘at risk’ register.
Exactly what type of degree do you require to become a media consultant? Surely a quick flick through a few the tabloids would teach you all the skills you would need. What more valuable tool in life can one want than a degree in ancient Celtic dialects. Would King Canute have been more successful had he possessed a degree in wave management? – You can tell that I am getting bored now, since I can’t think of any rational explanation of why King Canute should enter my mind.
I better go and make a snowman and cool off.
No comments:
Post a Comment